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Archive for March, 2011

The White Rabbit

I never thought I had any resemblance to a rabbit- rabbits are delicate, fluffy little things, not to mention their eyes are pink.  Granted,  Maksim sometimes calls “grey hare” when I’m easily startled, but I’m just not that rhodent-y, and I avoid carrots because they raise your blood sugar.

But it turns out everyone has their unexpected sides- and there are different kinds of rabbits.  I’m the white, waistcoat-wearing, pocketwatch-carrying, hurrying to see the Queen kind.  And I was almost late.

Whatever the benefits of the Puritan work ethic, it does tend to over-emphasize production; and it has infected Western society with an unhealthy worship of work in and of itself. 

We were not put on this earth to accomplish a number of tasks; there’s no checklist that we can mark off.  God created us to live in fellowship  with Him.  All other tasks are valuable insofar as they make that possible.   And in serving other people, we serve God, so we can count that as a legitimate excuse for hustle and bustle as well. 

But those of us who, Marthas by nature, are hustle and bustle oriented, tend to get distracted.  And I found myself rushing around, trying to get things organized and prepared for Sofya to go to kindergarten in six months’ time- and forgetting to enjoy her now.

This has been a sore point with me, because in the first few months after Sofya was born, I felt too ill and fed her too often to have the energy to really enjoy her; then we moved to my in-laws’ and I was too stressed and too much under observation to really enjoy her freely; then I was pregnant, and sick, and finally in the hospital; then I was grieving; and now in less than half a year she’ll go to kindergarten, and I’ll go to work and I almost missed it.

I was so busy making sure we did everything we were supposed to, and I was supposed to, and preparing to meet the Queen, that I almost missed doing what we really needed to.  And if I hadn’t read Ann Voskamp’s book about being thankful, I would have lost it all- watching Sofya sing as she lays her things out all over the floor, watching her pucker her lips to imitate a wolf, seeing her mouth stretch incredibly wide to fit an entire candy,  admiring her hair slicked back after a bath, and mumbling something over folded hands before she sets paper food out on a coloring book table.

What was I thinking?!  There is so little we know about the future, why put the present in debt to it?  God didn’t promise us tomorrow; all we really have is today and now.  I am not late for a very important date; and I will not be late for now.  I will be here, and I will be grateful for what I have- because it isn’t forever.

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